the sharp knife of a short life

   * very jumbled , long and sad post. I apologize when Im upset I tend to ramble*

     The world has lost one of the "good ones".  My friend Emily just lost her dad suddenly. I not only knew and loved him... but deeply love who he raised to be one of my absolute best friends.

First there was the initial call; here comes the shock and pacing.  He was just dancing at my wedding. She's getting married in October, he can't not be there. It's right before the holidays. Is this really happening?  Hang up the call, here comes the painful panic that I'm 3000 miles away and can't be there to hug her. Feel like my heart is going to explode. Call my parents to let them know a good family friend has passed away. Cry again when my mom lets out a yell and starts crying.  Frantic searching for plane tickets. Realizing it's a holiday and airlines make that nearly impossible. Book a ticket as quick as I can for a Friday morning direct out of LA. Feel immense guilt I can't be there sooner. I just need to get to her. Why wasn't I there immediately to hold her hand? Why is a big word in my vocab right now. Then the incredible sadness sets in. Sadness that I felt compelled to take out on a bottle and 1/2 of wine by myself at 3 in the afternoon. Not one of my prouder moments my friends. Sadness at the loss, sadness for the hearts that are breaking and sadness that I can't explain.

In true sorority fashion the troops move in. Two head directly from DC and Danville as soon as it happens, the rest gather in DC to pray and be together. Making sure she has what she needs, mobilizing people for the funeral on Saturday, cleaning, force feeding her and getting out all the details to everyone for the weekend and showing support any way we can. In a moment of such sadness there was such immense palpable love. I continue to pace in a daze and debate chartering a private plane to get there sooner. I doubt hubs would notice the small dent in the bank account right?  There as been a constant stream of people at their door in Richmond. People cherishing this life that was taken. She has the most incredible fiance. He is such a rock in her life and I thank God for giving him to her everyday. The amount of support and love this family has could run a country. They have built such relationships of love with so many people that dropped everything to help. It doesn't make it hurt less but it makes these next days a little easier.

I wouldn't know where to start when describing her dad. He was funny, so loving, genuine, hard working,  a true family man, and really, his girls lit up his life. He also made chili in the summer and for some reason this makes me laugh remembering the conversation we had about it sitting in her kitchen. He had such an amazing relationship with them. Emily and her sister are incredibly lucky. He was so so so proud of them. Not everyone gets a dad like that. Everything he did he did for them. The advice was always what they needed to hear, the voice of reason was a constant comfort and the way he loved them was never unnoticeable. Weren't we just at their house celebrating Em's nursing school graduation? Sending her sister off to her first year of college? Wasn't he just joking with me about moving to California and taking it easy on my dads pockets with the wedding? It really really kills me.

So, I'm packing my bag with a very tear stained black dress and heading East for a while. Luckily, I have an amazing husband and the flexibility to do that. I just want to be there. I just want to BE there.  To eat Five Guys with her, sing a few christmas songs, take some walks and sit/cry together. Even though I am so far away, my thoughts haven't left her side. Life will slowly and surely go on, but this will be a long road for her and her family. And you know what, for any one else that knew him.

Oddly enough, at the current moment, I am thankful. Thankful for his amazing life. Thankful he has such a beautiful family. Thankful that he knew exactly how his girls felt about him. Thankful his family knew they were deeply deeply loved. Thankful for the time I got to spend with him. Thankful for the amazing friends and family that are being a support and thankful we will get to see him again. May angels lead you in Mr. B.

Love you so much E. See you soon.

Stylish Blogger Award!

I've been given my first blog award!!! Thanks so much to Kari over at It's a Wonderful Life! Her blog is so cute and fun, go check her out!  This is so exciting for me because I have loved meeting new blogging friends and so many wonderful girls have such fabulous blogs!!! 

Here are the rules:

*thank the person that gave you the award

* tell you 7 facts about me 

*give the award to 7 fabulous bloggers that I just love

*leave a comment and tell the 7 bloggers that I am giving them an award

Facts about me!

{one}
I love puzzles. I could sit and do a 1000 piece puzzle all day. Just call me grandma.

{two}
I have to sit on the aisle of airplanes, church, movies etc. I can't stand to be sandwiched in the middle of people. It's also because I'm 5'10 and like to have leg room :)

{three}
I keep Food Network on all day. I will be doing other things around the house, blogging, etc. but its always on if the TV is.

{four}
I much prefer salty to sweet. If diet coke was taken away from me I would... well let's not talk about it.

{five}
If I have two glasses of red wine and sit on the couch to relax I will be asleep in minutes. I get it from my momma :) I promise I'm fun though!

{six}

If I could spend all day everyday cooking and baking with unlimited ingredients I would.

{seven}
Still to this day when all my sisters and I are together we normally at some point will break into singing Baby Beluga and the "I like to eat Apples and Bananas" jam song. Apparently those songs made big impacts on us when we were younger? 

Now my turn to tag 7 bloggers:

Meredith over at Mere's Flair 

Alex over at  Ruffles, Ribbons and Bows Oh My!

Natasha over at A Day in the Life

Kendall over at Keeping up with the Jones

Carie over at The Life of Carie

Brianna over at Itsy Bitsy Brianna

Paige over at Some Days You Gotta Dance


These girls are great go check them out... now!

So much fun! Hope everyone is having a great Thursday! Its almost the weekend!

T2T!

It's time for a little T2T! The weeks fly around here! 

Head on over to Taylor's blog, link up and check her out! She's going through some health things right now and could use some sweet prayers! 

Top 2 Jobs

1. Style. com

When I lived in NYC I had the chance to work for CondeNast and got to experience the magazine/fashion world. It was an amazing opportunity and I really learned a lot during my time there. It was incredibly stressful though. It was one of those jobs where you get emails at 4 am and the problem needed to be solved by 7 am. I didn't sleep very well haha. I got to do a little bit of everything. My fav was the planning. The meetings, lunch's, gallery openings and fashion show parties were so much fun to see from conception to execution. I met some amazing people and am forever thankful I went down that road. At least for a little while.

2. Kindergarten at my old Alma Mater

It was SUCH a blast when I moved back to Richmond  I got to work at my old elementary school. They were looking for a kindergarten aide and that was just what I needed! It was such a fun fun fun year. I really miss my kids, you get so attached! It's a small catholic school and I definitely loved being back and going to church, doing all the concerts, and re-living some of my youth :) The teacher I worked with got to be a good friend and she was a TRIP! The women I worked with were simply amazing and I feel very lucky that I got to hang out with them all the time. 

Hope everyone's having a great Tuesday! 

Road Runner

12:00 am. J just got back from the office, he's now sitting at our "office" desk finishing up his memo from home...apparently he can " lawyer" and dance in the seat at the same time..impressive. Yep there's my sweater wearing, bourbon drinking, air guitar-ing very musically talented husband. Gotta love him.

I however chose to take the relax on the couch path. It's past my bedtime.

Today I realized I miss running. Call me crazy ( and some of you are, I know which ones) but I really miss being super active all the time. I was always an athlete. Still am, but I consider myself retired for the time being. Today it hit me like a brick, I have GOT to start pounding the pavement again. No reason not too around here. No humidity, trails for miles on the water and some fancy under armor given to me a year ago by a bestie of mine for my birthday. Keep in mind it was a motivational tactic on her part to get me in shape for my wedding. Subtle. Around 1:00 I strapped on my shoes, downloaded a running tracker to my phone, updated my pandora stations and hit the road. Well, first I had to stop and buy new headphone because I very accidentally ruined the expensive ones J let me borrow. He definitely got more than he bargained for. I also, prematurely maybe, put a running counter on my blog here. Its to hold me accountable. If it doesn't get updated soon, I will remove it and we will never speak of it again.

I chose the back bay path today. Three miles of heaven. I decided to ease into the whole long distance thing. Get my sea legs back. And you know what? I still got em. It felt good. Not to mention I got a gnarly tan running in a tank top. I obvi stopped a few times to capture the scenery from the trail. ( Which is code for I needed to stop and catch my breath for a hot sec)

              

It was so gorgeous. The back bay is kinda btw the ocean front and the mountains.Weird sounding I know but it's 22 miles of trails plus hiking excursions galore. I saw one that was labeled " From the mountains to the sea".. maybe next time. As I was running to my country station on my phone, I crested over a hill to find....lo and behold, I do declare, a " Southern Mansion". You may not be able to tell from this pic but it was a water facing, wrap around porch wearin', balconies a blazin', american flag flyin' plantation house and all. I wish I could have gotten closer but the trail went to the right. It really put a giddy-up in my two step. Ok, I will stop with the southern cliches but as a born and raised gal from the south it made my skirt fly up as the pioneer woman would say.

It was so refreshing to get out and just run. I forgot how much I liked it. How relaxing it was. Like I said, it felt good. I figured out half of the worlds problems. I used all my remaining energy to sprint the last mile or so. I think it was all the feel good energy. That or I had already fixated my brain on an ice cold fountain DC and when that happens there is no return. 

hahaha and now I have to go, J is actually out of his seat shakin and movin dangerously close to me in the living room. Nothing like a midnight dance party right?  I'm pretty sure he just broke out a version of an irish jig. He keeps me young.  

Misc. Monday!

I'm linking up with Carissa this week for the first time over at lowercase letters! Such a fun blog!

No one and I mean NO ONE should let me near spray paint again :) I went to town this weekend hacking away and refinishing our dining room table..its now a fab white and I love it! BUT thats wasn't without a few tears and humphing around. hahah it got difficult for a while but I took care of it!

It totally smells like fall here at night, people are burning fires and I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. 

I made Turkey Sausage Gnocchi Soup  for dinner on Friday and it was unreal delish. It was warm, flavorful and filling! I substituted reg sausage for the turkey bc I had some on hand, so great!

Thanksgiving is around the corner and I've got my menu board laid out and a shopping plan in place. I'm ready to tackle my first culinary domestic challenge! Please note how wine is all caps. I keep adding food to the menu daily, whoops. I'm grocery shopping a little at at time so I can stay sane.

I spent some good quality time with a great new friend L on Thursday and Friday...Sometimes you just need some coffee, girl talk, long walks and shopping. We kept each other sane waiting for Ina to sign our books and surprisingly the wait went super fast.  Minus a redic salesperson at Nordstrom our trip to South Coast was a success!

The other pics are uber blurry bc we were so excited and then the poor woman in charge of taking peoples cameras to take pics while they got their book signed couldn't work the camera on my phone. Oh well! 

 All I want to eat right now is parmesan cheese..sooo sooo weird. I have been going to the fridge and breaking off chucks all morning. Good thing I buy the real stuff in big wedges!

Lastly,
I can not stop watching millionaire matchmaker. End of story.

Happy Monday everyone! 

Happy Friday!

I saw this on a few of my fav gals blogs and decided to join in! 

 1. What are your middle names? formerly Ann, now Tretiak; his Alexander


2. How long have you been together? it was 3 years in August; Married almost 3 months :)

3. How long did you know each other before you started dating? 10 years!

4. Who asked who out?  he asked me after laying some "ground work" as he calls it

5. How old are each of you?  I'm almost 26, he will be 26 in June

6. Did you go to the same school? Same high school, J graduated from William and Mary and me from Virginia Tech

7. Are you from the same home town?  yep, Richmond!

8. Who is the smartest?  hahah him with some things, me with others?

9. Who majored in what?  I was apparel, housing, resource management; merchandising management  he was marketing with a concentration in finance and then law

10. Who is the most sensitive?  def me

11. Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?  arrrrrruba

12. Who has the worst temper?  we both get irritated about different things but neither one of us has a huge temper; I definitely get irritated more..whoops

13. How many children do you want? 2-4? There are 3 in his fam and 4 in mine so I guess we will see :)

14. Who does the cooking?  me and Im obsessed with it

15. Who is more social? we are both "people people"; he's super great with groups of people he doesn't know and can talk to anyone, I'm definitely not shy or reserved but I don't totally dig rooms of complete strangers

16. Who is the neat freak?  I'm going to go politically correct on this one and say we both have our strengths and weaknesses when it comes to being neat.

17. Who is the most stubborn? I think I am?

18. Who wakes up earlier?  J during the week, we normally get up together on weekends

19. Where was your first date?  officially it was Coppola's in NYC 

20. Who has the bigger family?  I've got 3 sisters, he's got 2

21. Do you get flowers often?  on special occasions

22. How do you spend the holidays?  a big TBD. We are hosting Thanksgiving here at our house this year for us and J's sister from San Fran. We are red eyeing back for Christmas and will have about 4 days with our families so whatever we do will be fun and action packed! I'm just excited to see everyone!

23. Who is more jealous?  ehh neither but he's very protective in a good way

24. How long did it take to get serious?  Since we had known each other for so long and knew each other so well it took me until I finished my first glass of wine on our second date, Les Halles on Park Ave, I knew I was going to marry him after that date. 

25. Who eats more?  him normally but trust me, I can eat

26. What do you do for a living?  I am currently an "international woman of leisure" but am looking for a job in our fine new city ( I previously worked in fashion and  mag industry in ny and am trying to go a similar creative route) , J's a corporate attorney. 

27. Who does the laundry? me but J has a very particular way of folding his clothes, Im learning :) 

28. Who's better with the computer? I email and blog. Thats it

29. Who drives when you are together?  He always does. He is a better driver and Im not embarrassed by that, BUT I did beat him on our CA drivers written test. Being a true lawyer he found some discrepancies with the poorly written questions on his test and credited that to his missed answers. 

30. What is your song? Im not sure we have a "song" but we danced to Michael Buble's "You've Got What It Takes" at our wedding. It was a BLAST!


                            

   Hope everyone has

 a great weekend!

Baby after my own heart

Unreal adorable! Who doesn't love a little car dancin? He's too funny at the end

WILW!

Happy Hump-day! 

I hope everyones having a great Wednesday! Since it IS Wednesday, you know what that means! A little What I'm Loving over at Jamie's blog...link up and go check her out!

I'm LOVING that on Friday I'm going to meet one of my all time fav ladies.....

Ina Garten! She's doing a book signing on this beauty ...

She makes the BEST stuff and does a good amount of French fare which is my obsession...I'm currently watching her on Food Network and she's doing a french dinner party..tres magnifique! She also started cooking and throwing her famous dinner parties when she was working as a budget analyst for the White House, which entailed writing the nuclear energy budget and policy papers on nuclear centrifuge plants for Presidents Gerald Ford and Jimmy Carter. Yikes! The gal can certainly multi-task!

I am beyond excited!

Im LOVING that my sweet hubby researches the Williams Sonoma site from time to time to check out if there are any classes I would like or people coming to talk etc. and found out about this! He also got me the cookbook so I can roll on over and chat it up with Ina! 

Im LOVING that it is COLD at night here now! Like sweater and scarf cold!! Since its getting colder the holidays must be around the corner right? :)

Im LOVING that on the 24th I'm turning 26! 25 was such an amazing year and I just know that 26 will be fantastic as well! I can't wait to see what this new year holds for us!

Im LOVING the new Trader Joe's Italian blend coffee we got last week! It really starts my morning off right and hyper for that matter!

soooo many choices! I can't wait to try the wintery blend next

Finally, as always, I'm LOVING my hubby!